My 20s was an emotionally chaotic era. I had an innate obsession with trying to make a good impression on others, in hope of furthering my career advancements. I often worried and pondered over what to pose on social media. I wanted to create unique new content that would go viral but not backfire on me. I tried to attend as many events to network with others, and would offer to volunteer on multiple projects just to meet other similar-minded creative individuals. The 20s was such a stressful time.
Once I hit my mid 30s and went through various traumatic events, I stopped giving a fuck. It felt damn good, like an orgasm. I no longer cared about trying to advance my career. Whether others liked or disliked my works was of no importance to me. If a project came along my way, I would carefully consider it, to see whether it would fit in my schedule or advance my career. I stopped taking on projects. I didn’t care anymore about acquaintancing myself with new artists or writers online. I realized that everyone, including me, were in their own circle jerk. I even deactivated my Twitter, which felt amazing.
As I deleted, removed and subtracted all the worries from my life, I realized that I was here on Earth to create art + beauty for myself, not to become viral online, praised by critics, nor win awards. Winning awards or huge amount of followers online did not determine someone’s measure of success. All you had to do was hop on IG and look at countless of influencers who had many fans, and they were basically worthless. Awards shows were a jackoff for wealthy elites who had the money to spend on shameless self-promoton to judges.
So, I stopped giving a damn and now I was so much happier for it.
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